It's not a chemical, a special phrase, or a powerful personality that is this clique dissolvent. I'd like to say, right from the start, that the only thing that can get rid of an un-unified group is God himself. Because the attitude that puts others out of a group of people just to retain your own status in that group is so natural and easy for man, there either has to be a really good reason not to, or God himself has to move in the overall group to bring them all together. Before I continue, I'd like to explain two things. First of all, why cliques are anti-Christian, especially within a group that is labeled Christian overall. Secondly, my history and experiences that backs up the statements I made in this paragraph.
So, why do people come to a youth group willingly? If they actually do have a relationship with God, it's to fellowship with others who share in that relationship. If you don't, it's either because you're lacking something that you've been unable to obtain, and thus are searching for it, or it's to chill with a pier group and have a good time. What if a shy Christian walks in one day, looking for some others to encourage them in their faith, but all she gets is a few weary glances as multiple groups of people sit around talking before the Bible study starts? Well, let's just say that they probably won't come back. The same thing goes for someone who is searching for Christ. If they find groups that seem unwelcoming, then they will view them as no different than the people they were around before. With both of these examples, the person will most likely get the feeling of being unwelcome and won't come back. That's the opposite of what a 'Christian' group should be doing. But they're doing it out of the necessity of retaining their status in the group, and in their own smaller clique. Thus, the only way that the group will grow at all is if some cool person comes in and is good enough to fit into one of the cliques.
Concerning my own youth group, a few years back we were pretty small, but cliques existed nevertheless. There were true Christians in the group, yet in general, there were small groups of friends that didn't talk to anyone else. They didn't bother me at that point as I wasn't as concerned with being a leader in my youth group as I am now. However, the leaders did care. Every chance they got, they spoke out against these small groups of friends saying things like, 'We are the body of Christ, what happens if the hand can't even feel its own fingers?' They said some other things, did object lessons, and organised group activities. Yet it seemed that nobody was truly listening or understanding that they were the people who was being targeted. Some things happened, but nothing too drastic.
However, that didn't last very long. The leaders started taking the problem at the core, knowingly or not. They spoke about salvation, mostly which targeted each and every person in a more personal since. The way that I recollect it, those who were saved got a continual renewing of their lust for fellowship with God, and those who weren't saved either got convicted, or pretended to hear nothing at all. Some within the convicted group searched themselves for Christ, and came up empty. With this realization, they went to the Bible, and were saved. Others who were convicted simply ran away. Quite literally, I can think of people who were coming every week, and just left without telling anyone anything.
While these people left, others found Christian fellowship within the larger group and the entire group started to come together. People started greeting the newcomers, and talking to their piers within the group about this profound salvation that they had received, chasing more people out and causing those who chose not to listen to have to ignore even more. All of this took a few years to get to, but the group somewhat looked like a group, and has only gotten more unified since.
I suppose that this is a good point to mention a book that I, along with the rest of my youth group, have been reading. It's called Do Hard Things. The book is about how we can do these hard things to make a difference around us. Without writing a summary of the book, I would like to say that changing a Christian group is a very hard thing to do. It may seem too big for you to do yourself, but I'm convinced that each and every person can be influential in developing a true Christian group, no matter how un-Christian the group may seem at first.
In my case, I was not the influential one in my group, but the leaders were. I was oddly able to talk in any clique, but I'll save why and how for another time. I am convinced that without God working in each individual's life, that we'd still be an un-unified group. But how will there ever be change from God if the teaching isn't convicting the people to learn about Him? I don't see how there could be any change. This is where you come in. If you don't think that you're a leader, then change your mind now. Because that is what it will take to make a difference anywhere, not just in a Christian group.
The first thing that I would recommend doing is simply talking to the adult leaders in your group. See what they think about it. I'd say that the odds of them not caring about the cliques is slim to none. You will probably learn a lot about the leader in the process, and also position yourself as some sort of a leader in the group as the leader will probably respect you more than he did before. The outcome of the discussion with the adult leader isn't really important. But it is important that you get the goals of this leader, and present your own.
The next thing that I would suggest doing is picking out the others in the group who might have the same concerns as you. They will most likely be the ones who feel insignificant within the group, as if they can't change anything. As I mentioned earlier, it may seem like you can't do it by yourself. But the lovely thing is that you probably won't have to. If you can find these people. you will have mutual encouragement and you will be able to collaborate, bringing new plans and ideas to the table.
Finally, have no fear. If you are truly trying to make a difference for God in your group, then He will be with you. As I said before, it is only God who can change things like this. This is something that is socially harder than going out to evangelize for the first time. It's witnessing to others that they can be different as well. It's showing people that they can make a difference, just like you're trying to. It shows them that you have something that they don't. But they will only see that if you're bold with your words. People will notice the passion you have for others if it is there. When you do the socially unacceptable and unexpected thing like talking to a group of people about God when they're all there just to hang out, weird things start happening. You may get shunned by most, but even those who appear to be pushing you away may be growing respect for you. If they are truly Christian, then they will see that the group should be whole, and see that that is your goal. Be warned that they may see you as a leader in the group, though. Be ready to answer for yourself, and prove what you're saying. If God is with you, then you can do it.
I know that this is a long post, but it is one of the more important things that I've written about. The effect that we can have on the community if they see a change happening within the church is huge. But if they see just a bunch of youth having a good time, it puts a bad picture on the entire church. Stand up for Christ. Stand in the gap and take the punishment for it. Each time I see my youth group, I have joy that we are a part of the body of Christ because we are unified. I believe that that is how it should be, and that anyone can take a stand and make it so.
The Micromanaged Freewill
~Jacob
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